Bramble of Willowbottom

Power Ranger made me think again.

Why would any monster in the right mind wait for the rangers to finish up their crapping morphing that lasts for about half a minute, before attacking them?

Perhaps they should have an episode where the monster got tired of waiting for them to complete their morphing and attacked them midway. That'll be cool.

If I've learned to keep my mouth shut, then perhaps I wouldn't have been so damn disappointed.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Now that almost everything has been reduced to ashes, all that's left are 22 years of memories.

The earliest memory I have was when I was about 4 or 5, when I was still in PAP kindergarten. She would always fetch me after my class. My mom was still a seamstress back then, which means that she would spend all of her time sewing endlessly. She practically brought me around everywhere, and after class, she would bring me for lunch, and perhaps to the playground before we head home.

There was a year during my birthday, I made her brought me to the electronic shop, and I told her I really like one of those hand held games. She said she wants to buy it for me, but I told her she can't cause mom would nag, and I would most likely end up getting punished. She said, "We don't have to tell anyone", and she bought me the game.

As expected, my mom found out, and I got nagged. Throughout the whole time, she just protected me and said that she wanted to buy it for me, not that I asked for it. And that's what she did throughout the past 22 years, protecting me in whatever way she can.

Then, I went on to primary school and secondary school. During the holidays, she would always give me money to buy food. As I grew older, the distance between us grew wider. I started to reject her and refuse her in anyway I can. We stopped holding hands like we did, and I stopped talking to her. It became one of those one-worded conversations. I remembered I would always asked her about grandpa, after all he passed away before I was born. She would tell me all these stories about how they used to own a rubber plantation in Tekong, and how they lived their life during the WWII period. I used to enjoy listening to all these stories, and I wouldn't feel sick of it even if I've listened to it many times.

And so I became 18, and I had to go NS. There was a period of time I had a very big argument with mom and I moved out for a month plus. Dad would always SMS me, and tell me that she's asking when I am, and wants me to be home. I thought it was just one of those tactics to trick me home, so I sneaked home one day, and she told me that no matter what happened, I shouldn't move out. She kept telling me to come home, till the point she teared. I went back, packed my stuff, and move back home.

Last year, dad told me that doctor says she needs dialysis. We all agreed that she's too old for that, after all she's already 96 then. She then started to be on all these medicine, and the doctor told us that if at any point of time, her condition was to worsen, it would progress rapidly. I never expected rapidly to be an understatement.

I left for China on 1st Sept 2009. She was still very much active, and she could still walk around on her own. When I came back 6 weeks later, she was in a state where she couldn't get off bed, and she needed someone to feed her. She couldn't recognize who I was as well, perhaps due to confusion from the medicine she's been taking.

Almost everyone who bothered knew that I was getting annoyed with her whining, partly because she only whines in the middle of the night and it would usually last for hours. I tried helping her, but the difficulty only made me give up and get more annoyed. Now I can only live with the regret.

I could still remember very clear, almost 1 week ago, 15th November 2009, mom woke me up at 11.10am, and told me that she left. I went into the room, and there she was, lying motionless. I held her hands. They were turning cold. I called her, she didn't respond. Throughout the past 7 days, all my relative told me I was the grandson she doted on the most, and I failed to realize that for the past 22 years. It's all too late now.

I miss you, and I regret not taking care of you well. I should have expected something was wrong last Saturday, when you kept looking at me helplessly. I'm sorry I couldn't help you.

I love you, my dearest grandma.

As I watch her lie on the bed, so frail and unlike what she used to be, so robust. And now, she's just lie on the bed, struggling to stay awake after being put under the big mess of prescription from the doctors. The nurse said she might be going through a period of confusion, and the confusion can be caused by almost anything.

At an old ripe age of 97, she certainly looks young. But now, she's nothing but like a little child, sleeping from day to night, and night to day. She would wail and whine whenever she needed help, but it has been beyond what we can tolerate. I told myself if noone is going to care, then I will. After 2 toilet trip, and an hour long of whining, I gave up. People tell me "But you're her grandson, if you're not going to do it, then who?" And so, I'm going to try again tomorrow, to help her lessen her pain, and help her to feel more comfortable for whatever time she has left.

And I looked into the future. Would I suffer the same fate? When I need to go to the toilet, and no matter how I wail, noone will attend to me, and I'm left to urinate in my diapers, feeling ashamed by the actions.

I shall try to spend more time with her, make her feel more comfortable, and help lighten the burden of the family.

I wish I can, I hope I can.

So first week of school is coming to an end, and I must say I'm enjoying classes.

Had microbiology yesterday, don't think I'll do well for this module, but I think I'll be able to scrape through.

Clinical biochemistry was ok, just that Sergei tends to talk alittle too much, and he sounds like professor snape, so it gets distracting, but after awhile its ok.

Only touched PharmacoD n PharmacoK during pharmacology, so that's like not even what phco is about. I think i might die studying that.

There's pharmaceutics tomorrow and more phco. I think I should be able to do well this semester, since I got no friends to hang out or go out with.

I'm bored now.

I've been away fro quite sometime, and now I'm back.

So I went to china, and got back. Got attached and broke up. School started and now I'm back to studying. Life is good.

I've got work to complete, notes to sort out, project to do, and revision to go through, but right now I don't feel like doing anything and just sleep.

你让我明白爱，让我学会爱，也让我慢慢的忘记过去。我的生命，因为你，有了完美的结局。

接下来的日子，我们要一起手牵着手走下去。

Alrights, I'm in Wuhan, about 75% settled down, but with alot of issues, and right now I'm pissed, just gonna enjoy my beer and cigarettes, then deal with it later

Just want to let everyone know I have reached safely, and will be updating soon.

Uncle Roger will be coming to fetch me in about 2hrs 40mins time, and if I were to go sleep now, I'll probably have 1hr 30mins. Everything is sorta packed, except for the laptop and charger, luggage weighs about 21.4kg without the charger. I suppose I don't have to worry when I'm flying back cause my luggage shouldn't exceed 30kg.

So I'm leaving soon. To everyone please take care, and I'll contact you guys when I'm home. Gonna miss everyone alot, and I'll take tonnes of photos there to show you guys.

See you guys around, and I'll miss all of you.

(:

Was fooling around with Photoscape, and found the mole removal function, and I did this.



Edited



And this is the original.

I'm loving this already.

PHAN paper tomorrow, in the big big hall. This is the only paper that I feel confident about. Pathology was pretty screwed, but not as screwed as today's C.immunology paper. OH WELLS. Looking forward to china.

Backtomugging!

Time to prepare and get slaughtered.

10 days left to departure. I can't help but not think about it. I can't really be bothered about my exams now and I just wanna fly to china now, though I still wanna get a max GPA of 4. I suppose I still gotta study, since it's only gonna be about another 7 days or so of misery, and then it's china!

I've gotta start packing. I've got my toothpaste,toothbrush,mouthwash-combo ready, don't wanna use any tainted stuff there. Still yet to bring down the big ass luggage to pack everything in. I think I'll wear the same thing throughout the 4 days of exams so that I don't have to wash them then pack them.

Tonnes of things to do, too little time to finish it.

CANT WAIT!

Back after some time. Was so busy and cranky all these while.

Finally NDP is over, so my weekends are free. I'm attending my last lesson of the semester later, so this means that exam is coming. The only reason I'm still awake now is because I'm still preparing for pathology quiz that's coming up later. Still got 1 BIG BIG chapter left.

I still gotta prepare for a presentation later in the afternoon at 1pm. I don't think I'm anywhere near ready for presentation, with tonnes and tonnes of disease clouding my mind.

I better continue what I'm suppose to do and hopefully get some sleep soon.

Actually, it's not about fairness, since I don't have much choice 'cause I couldn't choose which family to be born into. Ever since she came back from the hospital, taking care of her became a chore. There's so much complain, and she's always trying to be funny. First night was to wake me up at 4am-5am, and made me massage her back. Then now, she's sleeping on the sofa, the place that I sleep on. She's been complaining of pain, and we've been trying to help relieve the pain. But she never listens to what we says. Lesser water intake, lesser salt intake. Take her medication, get injections for erythropoiesis. I don't what else she wants.

If you people don't what it is like to take care of her, then jolly well shut your trap. It isn't easy, when you have work or school the next day, and she wakes you up in the middle of the night to do things for her. Seriously, if you think its that easy, then you should try doing that, and not come visit once a month, and then start all the bullshit talk. Screw you.

I can't help but think that everything is so fake. Perhaps even I'm fake. Actually, I'm sure you will find me fake. But the person who said that she hate choir and the new conductor actually is bestest friend with the conductor now, and the person who accused the conductor of some fund embezzling shit is good friends now too.

This is so dumb. Perhaps the person who told me all these is the fake one. So screw you, you bitch.

So I don't see why you did so.

This are just some of the looks that I like, ripped from thesartorialist.blogspot.com. I like the pairing of jackets and shorts, as well as well-tailored pants with simple tees that gives a relaxed vibe. A well-fitted suit with skinny tie is very nice as well.

Time to scout for a jackets and pants, perhaps I'll go get one tailored.

I can't help but think one of them is full of shit. What is being said, and read is totally opposite, and I can't help but think that you're making a fool out of me. I could see very well, that it's happening to one of the other friends, and how he was being made used before.

I shall not go on anymore, but you have been an utter disappointment. I shall not be so stupid to fall into your trap anymore. What's mine is mine n ours, and never yours. By ours, I'm not refering to you. Just damn pissed now.